How Is the Decision Made to Place an Elderly Family Elder in a Nursing Home?

The nursing home decision for a family elder is usually made when a safety risk, an increasing care need, or the family caregiver’s physical/emotional exhaustion come together. This decision shouldn’t be made in a single moment, but at the end of a process that’s discussed openly within the family, with the family elder included as much as possible. Determining the right time and the right institution is the most important step in protecting both your loved one’s safety and peace within the family.

The Emotional Burden That Makes This Decision Difficult

In Turkish family culture, the idea of placing an elderly individual in an institution outside the home is often intertwined with the fear of being perceived as “avoiding responsibility” or “not caring enough.” Yet the truth is often the opposite: families considering this decision usually do so because they want to provide their loved one with a level of professional care they cannot give at home, in an expert environment. Accepting this emotional burden is the first step to making the decision in a healthy way.

Signs That It May Be Time to Consider a Move-In Decision

If several of the following situations are happening together, it may be time to speak with a professional institution:

• If safety risks such as falling or forgetting the stove/door are becoming more frequent
• If daily needs such as medication use, nutrition or hygiene are regularly being disrupted
• If the family caregiver (usually a spouse or child) is physically or emotionally exhausted and compromising their own health
• If 24/7 supervision is needed due to Alzheimer’s, dementia or a similar condition
• If the elderly individual is becoming increasingly withdrawn socially when left alone at home
• If a safe recovery environment cannot be provided at home after a surgery or health issue

How Do You Talk About This Decision Together with Your Family Elder?

As much as possible, make this decision a process your family elder is also a part of. Rather than imposing the decision on them, share your concerns and visit institutions together; an environment they’ve seen with their own eyes makes it easier for them to accept the decision. Talk openly but gently about the fact that the process may be permanent rather than temporary, and get their opinion on matters such as visit frequency and how to communicate. This involvement also greatly eases the adjustment process after moving in.

How to Cope with the Feeling of Guilt

Feeling guilty is an almost inevitable part of this process, but it’s important to remember that this feeling doesn’t mean the decision is wrong. Providing, through an institution, the 24/7 expert supervision, regular social activity and immediate intervention in emergencies that you cannot provide at home is actually another way of fulfilling your responsibility. Being able to maintain transparent communication with the institution you choose — regular updates, footage sharing when needed — is one of the most important factors that reduces this feeling of guilt.

Choosing the Right Institution Makes the Process Easier

The most critical step after making the decision is choosing the right institution. We covered in detail how to assess criteria such as license status, expert staff, hygiene standards and communication transparency with the family in our article Choosing a Care Home: What Should You Pay Attention To? As GAYA Huzurevi, with our over 25 years of experience, we prioritize supporting families both emotionally and practically during this difficult process; you can contact one of our branches to evaluate your situation together.

Frequently Asked Questions

My family elder doesn’t accept this decision, what should I do?

Rather than imposing the decision, try visiting the institution together and listening to their concerns. Seeing the institution in person and having the chance to chat with other residents living there often reduces prejudices.

Can a move-in decision be reversed?

Yes, many families first prefer a trial period for a certain amount of time. It’s important to clarify with the institution you’re speaking with how the process works and whether a trial option is available.

When does the feeling of guilt go away?

This feeling generally decreases as you maintain regular, transparent communication with the institution and observe your loved one’s quality of life there. Regular visits and open communication speed up this process.